Monday, 5 December 2011

Another Day My Friend

Sitting on the bus,
he sat across.
Momentarily he weighed me,
then ignored me.

Then she sat down.

I had noticed her, 
but I was minding my own business
through not noticing.

Her thick thighs rubbed,
her shoes click clacking in time,
I looked at her and smiled,
she blushed.
I noticed him scowling
through his solid frame.

Another day my friend and we might have been friends,
now we are rivals.
Another day my friend and we might have fought,
now we sit stoic.
Another day my friend and 
I wouldn't have forced bile back down my throat 
when you stood up and 
held my breath until you got off the car.

She ignored me then.








19 comments:

  1. I like this :) and I personally, love the pictures! x

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  2. The pictures compliment the piece very nicely, I like it :)

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  3. very talented; i respect you more than i did just from merlin now that you have a blog and are opening up!

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  4. You had me at thick thighs...

    I totally would have ignored you after that, too. Hello! Too busy blushing and minding business.

    But really, you captured that sentiment quite well; very nice to see a moment like that through a man's eye. Though really, it's not that much different. More bile, less self-flagellation.

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  6. Nice. :) This reminds me of a poem by Thomas Hardy, The Man He Killed:

    "Had he and I but met
    By some old ancient inn,
    We should have set us down to wet
    Right many a nipperkin!"

    It is a sad fate how little it takes to turn potential friends into rivals, foes, and enemies.

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  7. This paragraph :
    "Another day my friend and we might have been friends,
    now we are rivals.
    Another day my friend and we might have fought,
    now we sit stoic.
    Another day my friend and
    I wouldn't have forced bile back down my throat
    when you stood up and
    held my breath until you got off the car."

    is especially beautiful and touching! I love how real it is.

    The pictures are stunning!

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  8. Very moving piece. It's just what I needed this morning. Maybe I'll try some poetry myself. I'm pretty good at haiku. Not as good at photography. Thanks for being here.

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  9. Thanks for that glimpse - the sentiment spiraled me right back a few years and made me write to an old friend, words tripp-trapping in a no longer familiar tongue - your ductus reminded me so much of him - ya for creative stimuli ...

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  10. just what I needed today..
    I do some poetry myself but in French of course, my english is not enough well to try it in english.

    Big hugs from France Eoin.

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  11. Love the poem, love the photos!

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  12. I liked the poem and the antagonistic nature of this random nameless man, especially given his ambiguous relationship/link to the woman, but I'm more interested in her.

    The one physical feature you picked out was her 'thick' thighs, a notably sore point with most women, but it seemed nonjudgemental - neither played up nor down for effect. I'm curious about how you would have described her overall, in that moment, if the man hadn't imposed himself on the scene.

    The photographs are absolutely gorgeous. You have a great eye.

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  13. Eoin, this moved me. Though I adore classic poets like Shakespeare, Tennyson or Shelley, I am also touched by contemporary poetry that doesn’t come in iambic measure.

    What I love about this poem are its roots in a real situation, and from my woman’s point of view I’ve experienced moments like that, too. Strangely, it reminded me a tad of Philip Larkin’s ‘This Be The Verse’, though your poem has not exactly much in common with it.

    There is a moment of painful irony, like bile being forced down one’s throat (ahem…), which gives the whole thing an authentic touch.

    There are days I believe to be drowning in a plethora of ironic moments, but life’s that way. One side of this coin we’ve been handed is emotional, touching, at times painful or funny, and the other seems to be its ironic counterpart. But it’s also a facet of life I deeply enjoy - the grey areas…and we can decide what to make of it. “Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”, as the bard would have it.

    Thank you for sharing this with us, Eoin. It’s a very personal little window into your soul, and I’m moved that you decided to put it here. For me, the intimacy of the pictures only emphasizes the contents of your lines. I do like it.

    I have no wish to impose on you, but since you mentioned at one point that you’d be open to dialogue, I wonder if I may answer with a little thing I wrote a while ago… Would you be interested?

    Take care, Jas

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  14. Wow, this is lovely. I especially love the third photo. Thanks so much for sharing!

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  15. i havent been on the blog until just now when i reposted, but thank you for the lovely comments, and i will reply shortly......I promise, but thank you for reading, and for interpreting things....

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  16. rmshilpi jeez, dont bring in thomas hardy, thats dangerous, but if it did then wicked...... thanks for the analysis Jas, and sure please send on the link to the piece you wrote by all means....Candice Grace, im not sure how else I would have described her, but she was/is beautiful in my eyes, and I wanted to focus on something about her that was the least desirable aspect perhaps physically but she still held the attention and was attractive....

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  17. love the pictures you have taken. some good images in the writing too!! :)

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  18. I've read your poem many times (approximately ten times) and each time I finished it, i thought "Wow, amazing". I'll try to explain why.

    First because I could almost imagine the scene as if I were there, I could feel this mixture of attraction and rivalry, it was special and I don't often feel that.

    Then, I like how it's written. It's different from what i've read before, i know everyone write differently but i love the way you do. It's beautiful, simple, touching and... I don't know how to say, it's just different.

    And finally (but that's not the most important) It remembers me one poem I wrote, the situation is approximately the same in mine but it's not as well written as yours of course.

    Thank you for sharing this with us, I saw you wrote a lot of things and i'm gonna read them immediately.

    p.s.: I'm sorry if i made any mistakes, i'm french and my english isn't perfect >< .
    p.s. 2: The pictures are really wonderful.

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